Banter
by iPepsi
Summary: A collection of short interactions between Carly and Sam. Realistic encounters they may have during the time not covered in episodes, or playing off common story plots in a less serious manner. Dedicated to CAM fans.
1. Session One: Jealous Girlfriend

**Session One: "Jealous Girlfriend"**

Carly and Sam are in the middle of a discussion that's about to get heated after Sam told Carly she's leaving right after the show.

"I don't get it. Why are you breaking our plans all the time to hang out with Wendy now?"

"It's not all the time. I'm still over here almost every day," Sam defends.

"Yeah, because we're rehearsing for iCarly! When's the last time we had any fun together?"

"iCarly is fun."

Carly is getting gradually more frustrated at Sam's monotonous responses.

"There's something wrong and you're going to tell me what it is," Carly demands.

Sam sighs and takes a seat on the couch. Carly follows.

"This is hard for me, Carls. I know we tell each other everything, but this is different. You get to see more of me than anyone else. That doesn't mean there aren't things I'm ashamed to talk about."

Carly shakes her head.

"Please...please tell me you're not dating her. You and Wendy? Oh my God!"

"Whoa, hold up. I'm not dating anybody," Sam replies with wide eyes.

Carly looks at Sam curiously.

"You're not?"

"No, when have I ever tried to avoid talking about that?"

"Never, I guess. I just thought that maybe...I dunno. You might not be open about it since she's a girl," Carly suggests weakly.

"I know you're not homophobic. If Wendy was my girlfriend I would have told you weeks ago," Sam insists.

"Then what are you so afraid to tell me?"

"Wendy is my tutor. I'm almost failing math right now, and she's helping me so I will graduate."

"Oh. That's it?"

"It's not easy for me to admit something like that because you and Freddie are good at pretty much every subject. And usually I don't really try more than enough to pass. Math was getting harder to fake through without studying. Wendy would be captain of the Mathletes if we had a team, so I asked her to explain things."

"All of this free time you've been giving up is to make sure you pass math?"

"Yeah, well, I didn't pay attention for the first couple of months. We had to start at the beginning of the textbook."

"I'm sorry I made such a big deal out of it. Freddie really had me convinced you and Wendy were together," Carly recalls, laughing.

"That explains why you were angry like a jealous girlfriend," Sam teases.

Carly shoves Sam's arm playfully.

"Was not."

"Sure, fine, whatever helps you sleep at night, Shay."

Carly rolls her eyes and stands up.

"Come on, we're gonna be late for the show."


	2. Session Two: Bikini Bake

**Session Two: "Bikini Bake"**

Carly and Sam are in the kitchen baking in preparation for an iCarly segment.

"Sam! I said one-half a cup of chocolate chips! How many did you put in there?"

They both look down at the bowl, where a mountain-sized pile of chocolate chips covers the other ingredients, and goes higher than the rim of the bowl.

"Hey, you just said you wanted me to help. I don't remember anything about improvising being against the rules," Sam replied smugly.

"With that much chocolate in the recipe we may as well just go buy a candy bar," Carly explains while taking a couple handfuls of the chocolate chips out of the bowl.

"Why don't we? The only point to baking is that we get to eat the deliciousness before, during, and after. Like a continuous dessert buffet. But noooo, we gotta let this stuff get all Gibby-fied for the show."

"The segment was your idea," Carly reminds Sam while pointing a finger at her.

"Yeah, but I was daydreaming that I was bathing in cookie bars, not Gibby," Sam complains with a pout.

"Don't look at me like that. You can't be shirtless on the show, and it won't work as well..."

"...I could wear a bikini!"

"Yeah, that would work, but you don't..."

"...I can borrow one of yours, right?"

Carly gives Sam a stern look.

"I've already told you before that you can't borrow any of my..."

"...underwear! You said I couldn't borrow any underwear. A bikini is a bathing suit," Sam states in a matter-of-fact tone.

"It touches the same parts," Carly declares with a huff.

Sam ignores Carly's comment, dips her hand into the bowl, and retrieves some cookie dough to lick off her fingers.

"Mmm, om nom nom," Sam exclaims as she tastes it with a satisfied smile.

"Ew, Sam, that's gross!"

Sam dips her hand into the bowl for some more dough while bringing her index finger on the other hand to Carly's lips.

"Shh, just taste it," Sam insists.

Carly starts to mumble in protest, but Sam quickly replaces the clean index finger with the one freshly covered in dough and sticks the tip of it inside Carly's mouth. Some of it sticks to her tongue, and she's forced to taste it. Sam watches with a smirk as Carly tries to hide that she enjoyed it.

"You were saying, Cupcake?"

"Ah, it's good. Gimme some more!"

Carly reaches for the bowl, but Sam beats her to it. She lifts it in the air and moves to keep it out of Carly's reach.

"Nuh uh. Are you gonna let me borrow the bikini?"

Carly frowns in defeat.

"Fine, just let the tasty hostage go."


	3. Session Three: Silly Sip

**Warning: **Underage drinking. Author does not promote making this choice in real life. Be responsible.

**Session Three: "Silly Sip"**

Carly and Sam are leaning back against the cab of a truck Sam claims to be borrowing from her mom's newest boyfriend. Carly suspected even from the first sight of it that Sam had stolen the keys, but she chose not to make a big deal of it for now. They drove to a dirt road on the outskirts of the city and ended up by an abandoned field where they currently have stationed themselves. Sam pulls out two 4-packs of Ike's hard lemonade, one in original and the other in strawberry. She hands a strawberry to Carly and grabs an original for herself.

Carly peers down at the drink, reading its label curiously, then tries to hand it back to Sam while shaking her head.

"You promised me you wouldn't steal anymore of this stuff."

Sam half wraps her hand around the bottle and half around Carly's hand that's still holding it from the other side, and gently pushes it back towards her.

"I didn't steal it. Somebody owed me a favor," Sam declares, reaching back for her own bottle and roughly uncapping it like a pro.

Carly begins to toy with the cap of her drink as Sam takes the first few gulps of hers, contemplating whether to participate in the delinquency she had only ever sat back and observed before.

"Wasn't this supposed to be a date?"

Sam sets her bottle down and shrugs.

"Yeah, it is. Just you, me, and Ike. Not to mention the fortune of a clear sky."

"I'm not sure I want Ike to be here," Carly admits with a slightly disappointed tone.

"You know the rules. Don't knock something until you try it."

Carly rolls her eyes, struggles for a moment with the cap of her bottle, then finally takes the tiniest of sips from it when she manages to get it of.

"Satisfied?"

"Not really. That was a silly sip. You probably didn't even let yourself taste any of it."

Carly tilts the bottle towards her mouth, this time allowing a little more of a chug to travel through her system. Sam looks on expectantly and smirks when she sees Carly's lips curve into a satisfied smile.

"Okay. Fine. You win. It's good!"

Carly decides to finish the full bottle, but still takes it slow compared to Sam who is opening a third bottle by the time she sets down the first. By the end of her third bottle, Sam can definitely feel some effect from the alcohol beginning to work up in her system. Carly accepts a second bottle, but doesn't choose to open it right away. Instead she chooses to gaze up at the stars for a while and let her mind wander.

"I wonder what it would be like if we could touch the stars, or even collect one and take it home for a day," Carly ponders aloud while moving her head to look over at her girlfriend.

Sam smiles in appreciation for the comment, but doesn't attempt to offer an answer right away. Instead she reaches out her hand to Carly's face, and allows her thumb to carefully brush across her cheek affectionately.

"I'd collect a star for you. Even if it was difficult and they decided to be all tricky about it, you know I'd make sure one of them met my wrath."

After her barely-sober girlfriend utters these heart-warming words, Carly decides she deserves a a reward, so she leans over the extra couple of inches it takes to be right in front of Sam and plants a strong kiss on her lips. When they pull back, both are left feeling incomplete, so Sam tries to solve it by offering a quick peck before Carly speaks up again.

"You know I love you, right? And I bet you could've said something just as sweet without the liquid courage," Carly scolds slightly.

Sam nods in agreement and admits, "I love you too."


End file.
